Not too terribly long ago I wrote a post about the sorrowful mysteries and how they relate to relationships. Then I got to thinking (crazy, right?) that perhaps I should write a post on the sorrowful mysteries and how they relate to singlehood. So, here we are:
Agony in the Garden
Touching on what I wrote about in “for this Purpose“, the agony in the garden is quite often very clear for unattached folks. Sometimes it seems never ending. When will my knight in shining armor appear? We cry out to God wondering if this cup of singlehood will ever pass. We wonder whether He is really calling us to marriage or not. We struggle, at times, to see past the lonliness of the moment to God’s plan for us. This is especially true when it feels as though our friends have fallen asleep on us (read: found a relationship/gotten married/etc.).
Father, not my will, but Thine be done.
Scourging at the Pillar
When I’m really honest with myself and with God, I know that there are certain things He wants me to work on before entering a relationship. Those are my scourging at the pillar moments, those times when He brings one of my habits before me and invites me to confront it. Sometimes it can be that I need to heal from a past experience and that God wants to heal me before I try to let someone less qualified heal me. Sometimes it can be that I shouldn’t chew gum with my mouth open (I don’t anymore). I tend to think of scourging at the pillar as those times when God is specifically calling me to be holier than I am, even if that means a little pain along the way.
Father, make me into the person You need me to be.
Crowning with Thorns
When I wrote about this mystery and being in a relationship, I wrote about how we begin to think of the other person constantly. When it comes to the single life, this is also true, except that the other person we think about should be God. We put Him at the forefront of our thoughts and our prayers. I fully believe that before He brings that special someone into our lives we have to learn to approach God as our end, not merely as a means to an end (the end being a relationship/marriage). As Hosea says, “Therefore, I will hedge in her way with thorns and erect a wall against her, so that she cannot find her paths” (2:8). We are told that when we try to run after other lovers without first seeking God we will find our paths hedged in, and with thorns no less.
Father, be my first and truest love. Show me how to love You for who You are, not merely what You can do for me.
Carrying the Cross
The simple truth is that we have to learn to depend on God. I’ve found that when I try to make someone help me carry my cross it simply doesn’t work. I have to learn to depend on God in each and every moment, for each and every one of my needs. He is my Simon of Cyrene, He helps me carry my cross. He has called me to bear certain crosses in my life, specific to me. When the time is right, my human Simon of Cyrene will come along, but until then I have to learn to depend on Christ. If I sit around waiting for my Simon to come along then I won’t properly learn how to place my trust in God. Trusting God has to come first.
Father, take my faith and grow it. Increase my trust in You.
This mystery can be especially painful in the single life. For me, the crucifixion comes in when God calls me to be willing to lay down my desire for the married life. It also comes in when God says, “No, not that one. Move on.” If I’m being really honest, I am not at all a fan of God saying those things. There have been more than a few times He has called me to seriously discern religious life. Each and every time the answer has been, “Thank you for your willingness to lay your life down at My feet, but we both know where you are called.” Even if His answer doesn’t change, I still have to be willing to follow wherever He leads me. If He is calling me to end a relationship or move on from a crush, I have to learn, however painfully, to let God and trust in His plan for my life. I have to be willing to die to my own desires so that I can rise to His glorious plan.
Father, help me to lay my life, and my plans for my life, in Your hands, and at the foot of Your cross.
How cool is it to have written 300 blog posts?! So cool! To honor this joyous occasion, I have redesigned the blog! Nothing major, just a new theme and updates to each of the following pages: About (note the new banner on the right side!), My Journey to The Faith (formerly “My Story”), Speaking and Booking, Catholic Sorority (now under “About”), Worthy – The Book, What Is Agape?, Featured Songs, Inspiration, and Contact! You know, nothing major. I hope you’ll take a look around and stick around, there are lots of good and beautiful things coming your way on worthy of Agape!