never Enough.

never enoughIt was the end of a particularly long day at the end of an even longer week and I was exhausted. I got home an hour after I’d hoped to be home and felt like I hadn’t relaxed, much less slept, in days. It was the kind of exhaustion that was so taxing I was on the verge of tears over any little thing, the kind of exhaustion where even looking at another human being had the power to bring me to my knees. I got home, poured myself a glass of my favorite wine, turned on an episode of one of my favorite shows and plopped myself down on my couch, determined to relax.

The wine tasted sweeter than wine may have ever tasted before. I let myself get lost in the story line of the show, determined, even if only for 45 minutes, to get lost in someone else’s world. My wine quickly disappeared and the episode drew to a close, so I turned off the TV, finally relaxed.

And then I heard it.

The vacuum.

I realized my brother had arrived at home and began doing his chores when it hit me: I hadn’t done my chores yet this week. Then, like a tape someone popped into my head, thoughts began to race. I realized how many things I hadn’t done that week, things like spending quality time with my family, my chores, and all of the wedding things that had yet to be done. In virtually an instant I’d gone from relaxed to more stressed out than before. I felt selfish for the glass of wine and the single episode of the show I’d watched. Shouldn’t I have been doing something more productive? As the tape played on in my head, I couldn’t recall all of the things I had done that week, and they were numerous. Instead, the tape played on, the list building of all the ways I failed.

Isn’t that how it goes? So often we get bogged down by the never ending list of things we didn’t get done and we focus on the tree of “Undone” and miss the forest of “Done”. We wear ourselves out doing, going, being, giving, and loving but fail to allow ourselves time to rest, relax, receive, and be loved. We’ll let ourselves listen to the tapes that play, “You are not enough. Look how you failed. Look what you didn’t do. Who are you to relax? You think you deserve a break? A glass of wine? A good, cleansing cry? Get off your butt and work. Quit complaining and wasting your time. You’re never enough now and you are only getting worse by the second.” The tapes go on and on.

But who defines what IS enough? The world? The cover of a magazine? Or the God who created you for work AND for rest? He worked for six days, but on the seventh day even God rested. Don’t be so afraid to follow suit. Shut the tapes off, remember what has gotten accomplished, be grateful for the beautiful things God has brought into your life and take a deep breath. Have a glass of wine. Enjoy your favorite TV show. Call a friend just to catch up. Open up the bible and let God tell you:

You are enough.

Rest in Me.

You are enough.

I delight in you.

You are enough.

You are beautiful.

You are enough.

I see no blemish in you.

You are enough.

Take up your cross and follow me.

You are enough.

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