not alone: preparing for Marriage.

not alone series

You are not broken. You are not lost. You are not left behind. You are on a journey to your vocation…so how do you prepare in the here and now for your future vocation?

I suppose in order to know how to prepare for your future vocation it would be helpful to know what your vocation actually is. I fully believe that my vocation, as I’ve written about before, is to marriage. However, I’m not married just yet. So, how can I prepare for that vocation? More importantly how do I prepare for my vocation of marriage?

I’ll be honest, sometimes I think I’m doing a good job of preparing myself for marriage someday, and other days I am down right suck-tastic at it. Here’s what I’ve learned over the years and the ways I have or am preparing myself for marriage:


Last week I talked about how one of the perks of singlehood is the freedom I have financially. Now, I can use that financial freedom responsibly, or I can squander my extra earnings on things I don’t really need. I’ll be honest, I’ve been not so great at this part over the years. Once upon a time I had a well paying youth ministry job (rare, but true) and I still wonder where my extra income went. I could have saved that extra money for a rainy day, a down payment for a house, or wedding expenses. I could have chosen to pay down my loans even faster. I could have locked some of it away in a high-yield savings account. Or I could have bought silly things, traveled, bought a car, and gone out to eat whenever and wherever I wanted. Guess which option I took. Now that money is tighter I’ve learned to manage it better and watch what I spend, and save as much as I can for my future, and for my children’s sake.

Deep prayer.

Prayer: Rosary. Mary's intercession. Notebook where I write to my future husband.

Prayer: Rosary. Mary’s intercession. Notebook where I write to my future husband.

I could just say prayer here, but there is a depth to my prayer about and for my future vocation that is different from my normal prayers. I pray for my future husband. Every. Single. Day. I write to him. I pray that God would prepare my heart now to love him (whoever he is) however God wants and needs me to love my future spouse. Of course I’ll love my spouse in my own way, but I’m constantly asking God to give me experiences and teach me ways that I can love my future spouse in exactly the way he’ll want and need to be loved. My love is imperfect since I’m not God (duh), so it is important to seek the source of perfect love so that He can teach me how to love as He does.

Married fellowship.

I’ve got loads of friends who are married, some with no kids {yet}, some with one kid, and some with a gaggle of children. I find it important and helpful to spend time with them and learn from them. They’ve got wisdom to share about the struggles of marriage and parenthood, so why not soak up all that knowledge and put it to good use someday?

Saintly intercession.

I’m seriously knocking on the doors of saints all. the. time. Their intercession guides me and grants me peace as I wait for and seek my future spouse. My favorite intercessors lately include: St. Thérèse, St. Joseph, Our Lady Undoer of Knots (really, just Mary in general), St. Agnes, St. Rita, St. Anthony, and St. Paul. I call them my holy BFFs, and they are an awesome group of folks to talk to and ask for their guidance!

I think the biggest thing I can do to prepare for marriage is to ask God to show me whatever He needs me to see and experience before marriage. I may not always understand all that He brings me to, but I trust that He’s got more reasons for it all than I’ll know on this side of Heaven. I choose to believe He’s bringing me all kinds of crazy and amazing experiences because they are shaping me for all that He has in store for me, including my marriage, and hopefully for motherhood.

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