My love letter to my future husband. I hope he reads it someday. Maybe that day is today.
Dear Future Husband,
I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about you, hoping, and impatiently waiting for the day you will ride into my life on a white horse. I hope that I’ve spent more time praying for you than I have day-dreaming about you. I hope you are a lot of things, strong, patient, loving, caring, the list could go on. God knows the list (and He’s probably laughing at it). But there are a few things I want to tell you now, things I hope for you, for us, and for our life together.
I hope you are guarding your heart. I hope you are saving as much of it as possible for God. I hope that you give it all to Him so that one day He’ll gift and entrust it to me. The gift of your heart will be among the greatest gifts I’ll ever get from Him, second only to His life. I’m sorry for the times I haven’t guarded my heart, when I’ve given it away carelessly, and when I haven’t given it to God first. I can’t wait for the day He trusts my heart to you, but it has to be a gift from Him, not from me. Until that day, my heart is His, wholly and completely. Remind me of that.
The truth is that at this point in my life I may or may not know you. If the last few years have taught me anything, it is that until I walk down the aisle to you on our wedding day, I won’t know who you are. I may think I know, but I could be wrong. Any number of things could happen, so until you see me walking down the aisle to you, I won’t know who you are, nor will you know who I am. Guard the hearts of the women in your life as though they were my heart. Don’t make promises you can’t keep.
There is a lot I’d like to tell you not to do, most of it based on my past. I hope you are every bit the man that God has called you to be. If you are, then that will be more than enough for me. I know that you are human and that you will fail from time to time. Know that I will love you through it. It may not be pretty, and we may disagree and fight, but that no matter what, my love for you will remain.
I’m imperfect, I’m human, and therefore beautifully flawed. Chances are pretty high that I’m going to screw up at least once. I’m going to get scared and try to run away. I’ll fear for the future, for the risk of truly loving you and I’ll probably try to push you away. If history is any indicator, I’ll probably try to love you more than I love God. Kick my butt when I do that. Despite it all, chances are pretty high that I’ll love you with a love more intense and fierce than you may have ever known from another human being; God loves you more intensely than I ever shall. I’ll love you forever because forever is what I want to spend with you. I’m not the kind of girl to give up, on you, on me, on us, or on love. I may try to walk away, but with you my heart will stay. I will hold you and defend you with all that I have. By the grace of God I’ll love you how you need to be loved and how you deserve to be loved because He will show me how.
God knows that I’m impatient, and that even as I write this I’m wishing you would just show up with a big flashing sign to let me know you are here. But we both know that isn’t how He works. So until that magnificent day when I walk down the aisle and take you as my husband I’ll be praying for you, every moment of every day. I hope you are praying for me, too.
Love always,
Amanda
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