What a glorious and wonderful gift it is to be writing my 200th blog post! I decided, for the wonderful occasion, to write another public letter to my future husband. The first public letter I wrote/blogged to him can be found here. I fully believe that writing to him, where ever he may be, is a form of prayer, and of love poured out for him, whether I know him yet or not.
Dear Future Love,
A lot of the time I wonder where you are. I wonder if you are real. What if God is calling me to religious life? Will these letters then be all for naught? Certainly no, they would then be for Jesus, the first and truest love of my life. No matter where He ends up calling me, I shall write to you still.
It can be difficult to pray for you sometimes, not knowing where you are or what is going on in your life at any given moment. Nonetheless I pray for you. I pray for your purity of heart, mind, body, and soul. Even if you have fallen short in the past, even if you are falling short right now, or if you are tempted at the very moment I turn to prayer, I pray for you. I pray that you would know His loving kindness, His mercy, and His goodness. I pray that I can show you some small share of the love that He has shown me.
I hope that someday you will read these letters and realize just how much He is calling our hearts to be together. I hope you see the fruits of being apart, of growing closer to His heart before He unites our hearts. And for the record, I trust that He will unite our hearts, like only He can. We may try before it is time, but ultimately we will fail. Your heart must be a gift from Him to me, just as my heart must be a gift from Him to you. My heart is not mine to give, but His. I gave Him my heart a long time ago because it is far safer in His hands than it is in my own. I trust Him with my heart because He has shown me that He is worthy of such trust. Trust your heart to Him.
If I could ask one thing of you right now it would be for you to fall in love with God. Allow Him to fill you, to fill the sometimes lonely hours between now and whenever it is that we shall fall in love. Allow Him to mold you into the man He is calling you to be. Give Him permission to heal you, to use you, and to pour His love freely into you. Be His hands and feet. Be His love to a world that is so in need. By loving how He loves, by sharing His love with the world, you are already readying your heart for the wedded bliss He is calling us to. More than anything else, allow God to make your heart His home.
Be assured that where ever you are, I am praying for you. Sometimes I pray for you as often as I breathe. You are out there, of that I am sure. There will come a day – a glorious day – when we shall meet and we will fall in love. While I’ll never stop looking for you and praying for you, I won’t waste this time that God is giving us now, to be apart and to grow closer to His heart, and I won’t wish it away for the sake of knowing you. God has called me here, just as much as He is calling you to be where ever it is that you are. In God’s own sweet and perfect time, I know He’ll make you mine, and He’ll make me yours. Until then, are you chasing after His heart? Are you filling yourself with His everlasting love? Are you learning how to love from the source of Love? Are you praying for me?
I trust His plan for us. Won’t you?
Resting in His perfect love,
Your future wife