Break-up excuse: ……(silence)…..
Why it sucks in human relationships: Because its not even a real excuse, its a lack of excuse. It lacks courage and basic communication. It lacks even the most basic respect for other human beings. When one person simply stops speaking to the other it says that the other person isn’t even worth the common courtesy of an explanation or an actual break up, or even a sense of closure. The person who isn’t being talked to is often left dazed and confused because more often than not they have no real idea why the other person stopped speaking to them in the first place. Perhaps you are reading this thinking that the person who stopped speaking just wasn’t ready to talk yet. That is another excuse in and of itself, similar to last week’s blog. Life is short, do you really want to waste time and not be honest with someone? If so, then have fun playing with people’s hearts as if they are your toys. The silent treatment didn’t really work when we were kids, so why do we continue to use it in our “adult” relationships? Grow up.
Why it sucks when using it with God: Because we are foolishly thinking that we can ignore God, even though He is all around us. After all, He did create us, and the world we live in, so isn’t it a little ridiculous to think that we can ignore Him? Do we really, truly believe that He doesn’t know why we are mad at Him or our life situation in general? He knows. Unlike humans, God isn’t left dazed and confused when we stop speaking to Him…He knows our hearts better than we do. But just because He isn’t mystified by our silence doesn’t mean that it’s okay to stop speaking to Him. He’s got big shoulders, He both can and wants us to let Him have it…He, unlike so many immature human beings, wants open and honest communication with each one of His children.
Why this excuse doesn’t work on God: This excuse doesn’t work on God because, like I said in last week’s blog (just not Yet.), He will wait out our silence. We, as humans, get tired of the silence and however painful it may be, we eventually move on. God doesn’t move on, He waits patiently for us to speak to Him again. He continues to whisper His love into our hearts, to shower us with signs of His love for us. He’s not fooled by our silent treatment, He is just waiting for us to come around.
How to move on: This one is pretty easy: talk to God. Yell at Him if you must. I can promise you that all your anger, hurt, resentment, even hatred of God won’t hurt Him. Jesus took it all on the cross – could you really think of anything more painful than that? He knows your anger, hurt, etc. already, but there is healing in voicing it to Him. It is the same in human relationships – isn’t it healing to just let all of your anger out? Yell into a pillow? It is the same with God – let Him have it. Maybe you think He’s stopped talking to you…open a Bible. Have you seen the size of that thing? He never shuts up! Read the diaries of the saints and the things He revealed to them, He never shuts up! And I mean that in a loving way, but God never stops telling you, showing you just how much He loves you and how He longs for you to be open with Him. He wants you to be happy, eternally happy! Yes, you are a child of God…that doesn’t mean you have to act like a child and give Him the silent treatment…throw a temper tantrum with Him and guess what? You won’t get a time-out! Communicate with Him!
Bonus! Random thought/realization: when you find your true love silence won’t ever be an issue. The one you love, the one God made for you won’t allow you to hide in your silence, nor will you allow them to hide in their silence. By the grace of God you’ll want to know each others’ thoughts and hearts and souls. Even if one of you tries the silence or the “I’m fine” or “I’m not thinking about anything” excuse, God will allow you to see each others’ hearts and persist in a loving way until the truth comes out. Communication…its all God wants from us, and it what we desire from others.
Heavenly Father, grant us the grace to grow up and openly communicate with one another, but most especially with You. Sometimes we think the silence is easier than the honesty, help us to know that even though the truth may hurt, we need it to move on, to grow and mature into open and honest adults. Help us to care enough to talk, allow us to be vulnerable before You, and before Your children. AMEN.