on marrying Averagely.

The average age for women to get married, at least that most places report, is 25. How old was I on our wedding day? You guessed it: the average (hence the title of the post) age of 25. Do I regret it? Am I sad I didn’t marry as young as I thought I would? Heck. No.

The reality is (and always was) that God knew what He was doing. I met Anthony for the first time when I was 23 – the age I thought and hoped I’d be married by. He, who was 27 years old when we first met, also thought he’d have gotten married younger. But we didn’t. We stood on that altar at 25 and 29 years of age, respectively. God – far, far, far more than either of us – knew what He was doing and knew what wonders He had in store for us.

The other reality is that I probably could have gotten married before Anthony came along. Anything is possible, right? However, I firmly believe that if I’d married anyone other than Anthony I wouldn’t be as happy as I am. He’s my ticket to Heaven – he pushes me, challenges me, and invites me to be holier (in more ways than I can even tell you!). I could go on and on about how wonderful marriage with Anthony is, but I’ll spare you the gushing. Suffice it to say that not a day goes by that I don’t thank God for the wonder and gift of my husband.

I look back at myself at age 22 or 23 and am (now, because I certainly wasn’t then) so grateful I didn’t get married then. I don’t think by any means that I, much less God, delayed my vocation. Before I got married I had a chance to do some traveling, write and publish a book and grow as a person. None of that time between when I thought I’d get married and when I actually got married was wasted time. God used (and still uses it) for His glory.

Of course none of this is to say that my way is perfect, right, or for every person everywhere, it simply worked for me. There are, I should also mention, some drawbacks to getting married at the age we did. To answer the first question: I almost never notice the age gap between Anthony and I. Four years really isn’t much, and the only time we sort of notice it is when we talk about things that happened in our childhood, i.e. Columbine, 9/11, etc. I will say, however, that because we are/were a bit older when we got married, we are also a little more set in our ways. We can and have changed, but some habits are more ingrained. For example, one of us hangs up a towel nicely and neatly while the other one…doesn’t. Most days this isn’t a problem, the one who likes the towels neatly hung simply re-hangs them. Other days this sends said person into a blind rage as to why the other can’t hang up a towel like a civilized human being. Maybe in the end we’ll grow even more in patience as we overcome our habits that annoy the other or grow to love them anyway.

For basically my entire life I’ve avoided average. I have always been at or near the top of the class, graduated early, got a job in my field young, etc. etc. Average is simply not my style. If I’m going to commit to doing something, I’m going to do it well – and that’s always been my motto. The same is true of marriage. Even though I got married at the average age, I’m committed to doing above average in our marriage, I’m committed to doing marriage well. In the end, the age I was on our wedding day doesn’t matter nearly as much as the meaning and action I’m willing to put into the vows that were said – and that’s anything but average.