Break-up excuse: I’m not good enough for you, not worthy enough/you are too good for me.
Why it sucks in human relationships: This excuse can come in many forms, only a few of which are listed above, but any of its various forms/verbiage aren’t fun, whether you are using this excuse or it is being used on you. It sucks because if you are the one using it, you are selling yourself short. If you are the one its being used on then you probably feel as though you are being put on a pedastal and you have no idea how you got there. After all, you are human and not perfect either, how can you be “too good” for someone? It just puts you in an odd place and you don’t know how to rectify the notion of being “too good” or “too holy”.
Why it sucks when using it with God: Because we aren’t good enough for Him. He is too good for us. True, we are made in His image, but is a reflection ever as good or as beautiful as the original? Is there any copy of the Mona Lisa as astonishing as the original? Nope. He, in Truth, is perfection itself – how could we ever measure up to such perfection? (These, by the way…or btdubbs if you prefer, are all the lies that Satan tells us, and that we all too easily buy in to, but more on that in a moment.)
Why this excuse doesn’t work on God: Because, by His grace, we ARE worthy. Maybe its just the truth that I need to hear most in my life, but you are worthy…hence worthy of Agape. No matter where I go in my life or the struggles I have, this is the Truth that I always come back to (and thanks be to God, the truth that Mr. Irish constantly reminds me of). You are amazing. You are a wonder. God marvels at YOU. He didn’t just create Adam and Eve and say that they were good, that’s it, the end. He created you and me and He said that it was GOOD when He created each and every one of us. Sure, you are but a reflection of God, but you are a beautiful one, inside and out. The Saints and the Prophets all wondered at the beauty of God. Scripture tells us that no one can behold or see the majesty of God and live – it is only because we are reflections that we can live. With a God that wonderously beautiful, who wouldn’t want to be even just the tiniest reflection of such a magnificient beauty? The Mona Lisa, even if it is a copy, is a beautiful painting. Look at an image of The Prodigal Son by Rembrandt and you’ll see its beauty – copy or not. We are all images of God, reflections of Him and therefore we all point back to Him. Seeing a copy of The Prodigal Son only makes me want to see the original – the same is true with love, for God is Love.
How to move on: You are a wonder. You are worthy. Never, ever, even for a second, forget or doubt those truths. Believe me when I say that even in the most amazing relationships it is tempting to walk away and say, “you are too good for me” or “I’m not worthy of you” or “I don’t deserve someone as amazing as you”. Trust me, I’m 99.9% sure you’ll have those thoughts even when you find your soulmate. But I’ve come to realize that we have those thoughts for a reason: they are a call to depend more deeply, more intimately on Christ, on His grace and His love. Mr. Irish is no doubt wonderful, but he is only a reflection of God and loving him challenges me to love Him more. Seeing the love that Mr. Irish has for me only makes me want to see The Original more because the love that He has for me is deeper…it is eternal, it has always been there and will always be there. (This is not to say that the love Mr. Irish has for me isn’t eternal, but it hasn’t always been there, because we exist in time whereas the love that God has for us it outside of time. Confused? Check out C.S. Lewis’ Mere Christianity for a great explanation of God being outside of time.)
So how do you move on?
In human relationships: Remember that you are amazing. That even though, from time to time (or even for really long periods of time) you feel unworthy or not good enough, know that by His grace you are. Recognize that those feelings of unworthiness point to our lack of God. Our “God tank”, much like our gas tanks in our cars, are running on low. Cling to God, ask Him to show you how much He loves you and how worthy He sees you as and I can promise you that your human relationships will improve.
In your relationship with God: Sit in silence with God. Let yourself be loved. That last one is SO much easier said than done…in human relationships, but especially in your relationship with God. Allow Him to shower you with His love. Ask Him to show you what He loves about you and believe me, He will. It will blow your mind. Look at The Prodigal Son painting by Rembrandt and imagine yourself as the son being embraced by God. You are worthy. God doesn’t hate His own creation, His own children – let Him write His love deeply on your heart and soul.
“The devil will try to upset you by accusing you of being unworthy of the blessings that you have received. Simply remain cheerful and do your best to ignore the devil’s nagging. If need be even laugh at the absurdity of the situation. Satan, the epitome of sin itself, accuses you of unworthiness! When the devil reminds you of your past, remind him of his future!” -St. Theresa of Avila
Christ Jesus, You alone know how unworthy we feel at times. You know how we feel as though we just aren’t good enough, for Your love or any other kind of love. Help us to be washed clean of these lies that we buy into from Satan, that we are somehow not good enough, nor will we ever be. Speak into our hearts, into our souls, speak Your love into our lives so that we may never doubt how amazing and worthy we are because of Your sacrifice. AMEN.
