just don't say it: on the Bachelorette.

Love it or hate it, The Bachelorette is my guilty pleasure. Truth be known, I much prefer The Bachelorette to The Bachelor because it makes more sense for me to have 25 men wooing a woman, rather than to have 25 woman cat fighting over one man. Yikes. That being said, I’m putting on my more comedic/sarcastic side with this week’s installment of the “just don’t say it” series as I take a look at all the crazy things you shouldn’t say if you ever find yourself on The Bachelorette!

• This is just the perfect place to fall in love!
  
  • Seriously? Every location cannot be the perfect place to fall in love, stop saying it in every location.
• Well, after the show, when I go back to my normal life…
  • Perhaps you should not blab on about the number of babes you’ll get now that you’ve been on TV. You are on TV, do you need to be more of a poser?
• I left my kid to be here…
  • Because really, when your kid grows up, I’m sure they’ll be comforted by the fact that you used them and your absenteeism to get ahead on a TV show and guilt someone. Way to be.
• I just…*sobs*…don’t know if I can do this!
  • Whether you are the guy saying this or the girl, just don’t say it. It takes someone who lives under a rock to think that this experience comes drama-free. You knew what you were getting yourself into when you signed up, either it is worth the risk or it isn’t.
• I got the rose! I got the rose! La la la la la, I got the rose!
  • Ah, yes, because parading around with a rose and rubbing it in other people’s face is always a classy route to go.
• So-and-so really opened up to me tonight…
  • Hi, that’s the point of a relationship, but feel free to keep pointing out the obvious.
• I’m not here to make friends, I’m here to fall in love.
  • True, you came on the show to fall in love (or so we hope…), but if you can’t at least be civil in the house/hotel/exotic bungalow then that says something. The ability to make friends and make the best of difficult situations speaks volumes about how you will handle difficult situations in life. Man up.
• I love the way so-and-so kisses!
  • I can’t recall anyone being on the show and hating the way someone kissed. We all like being kissed, now get over it get to the meat of someone. Sure, they can take you in an elevator, find a rooftop, or a dark alley and lay a passionate kiss on you, but can they have a meaningful conversation with you? Can they control their passion enough to focus on something other than eating your face off?
• I’m just here for a serious relationship…
  
  • Good, but do you need to repeat this fact every five seconds? Its kind of like that quote about being a lady – if you have to tell people you are, then you aren’t.
• Falling in love is the entire reason I came here!
  • See above explanation. We hope you came here to fall in love, but maybe you came here for fame or the lavish dates or because you were hoping the Bachelor/Bachelorette was someone else. Actions speak louder than words.
• I could picture my life with so-and-so…
  • Similar phrases include: I could see him as my husband, This moment could be something I look back on and say, “that was when I knew she’d be my wife”, I could really see myself as part of their family, I could see so-and-so in the end, down on one knee, etc.
  • Well good, because if you can’t then perhaps they shouldn’t get a rose. Let’s be real.
• I know we have a connection that is unique.
  • Each person on the face of the planet is unique, therefore each connection will be unique. Good for you that your connection is unique – how about developing it further?
• I really enjoy time alone with so-and-so.
  • Again, duh. If you don’t enjoy alone time with the person you are dating then you probably shouldn’t be dating that person.
• I love you.
  • The Bachelor/Bachelorette won’t say those three little words back to you until the very end, so don’t throw those words out as a lifeline to keep a relationship alive, or because you think someone else has told them the same thing. Those words carry a lot of weight and should not be used as a tool for getting ahead in the relationship or on the show. Say what you mean and guard your heart!