do words Matter?

do words matterIt is no secret ’round these parts that I tend to be a Bachelor/Bachelorette fan. When it came to this season, however, I decided not to indulge. I wasn’t Juan Pablo’s biggest fan during Des’ season and had no desire to watch his season. At least that was true until the finale. I saw tweet after tweet, Facebook post after Facebook post and decided to tune in for the inevitable train-wreck.

For those of you that didn’t watch (**spoiler alert**) here’s what went down: Juan Pablo picked Nikki, though he didn’t propose nor did he tell her “I love you” despite the fact that she’d said it to him. Instead, he told her that he had a ring in his pocket but wasn’t going to use it and that he really, really likes her. (Just what every girl wants to hear after professing her love, right?) Fast forward four months in TV-land-time to the “After the Final Rose” special and he still hadn’t told her that he loves her. (Was I the only one who noticed how she said little about this, somewhat sheepishly trying to defend him/excuse the fact that he hadn’t said I love you? Just me?)

For starters, what guy tells a girl who has just told him that she’s in love with him that (1) he really, really likes her and (2) has a ring in his pocket but he isn’t going to use it and then (3) that she shouldn’t get all pout-y? The first one I can understand if he’s not ready to say it and it has meaning, but number two and/or three would have made me want to smack him. Word to the wise, male readers: if you’ve got a ring in your pocket and you don’t use it, don’t tell the girl. Just tell her when you are *actually* going to use it.

But what it really boils down to is this: do words matter? Does it matter that she told him she loves him, but he isn’t returning the sentiment in words? She said on “After the Final Rose” that he shows it with his actions. Actions may speak louder than words, but words (or lack thereof) speak pretty loudly too. This isn’t even confined to Juan Pablo and Nikki, but a lesson for all of us: words matter. If I tell you that you are a horrible person and that I hate you, but then I write you a check for a million dollars, you will be confused. You will likely rejoice over the million bucks, but you’ll be uncertain as to how I really feel. Do I hate you? Do I like you? Why did I give you a million dollars? The fact of the matter is that our actions and our words should match. If our words don’t match our actions, or vice verse, someone ends up confused. In the end, if our words don’t matter, neither do our actions. Either they both matter or neither matters, but one can’t matter without the other. If our actions matter – and I believe they do – then so do our words, plain and simple.

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