Breathing.

Typically I know what song I want to feature days in advance. I would have liked to have written this post hours ago but I haven’t been able to nail down a song, mostly because my head is still in a bit of a funk, but more on that some other time (God knows this is my own little confessional). Without further ado, the song of the week…

Rock or Knock: Rock.
Song: Breathing
Artist: Lifehouse
Lyrics:
I’m finding my way back to sanity again
Though I don’t really know what I’m gonna do when I get there
take a breath and hold on tight
Spin around one more time
And gracefully fall back to the arms of grace

‘Cause I am hanging on every word you’re saying
Even if you don’t wanna speak tonight
That’s alright, alright with me
‘Cause I want nothing more than to sit outside heaven’s door
And listen to you breathing
It’s where I wanna be, yeah
Where I wanna be

I’m looking past the shadows in my mind into the truth
And I’m trying to identify the voices in my head
God which one are you?
Let me feel one more time what if feels like to feel
And break these calluses off me one more time

‘Cause I am hanging on every word you’re saying
Even if you don’t wanna speak tonight
That’s alright, alright with me
‘Cause I want nothing more than to sit outside of your door
And listen to you breathing
It’s where I wanna be, yeah

Oh I don’t want a thing from you
Bet you’re tired of me waiting for
The scraps to fall off of your table to the ground
La da da da
‘Cause I just wanna be here now

‘Cause I am hanging on every word you’re saying
Even if you don’t wanna speak tonight
That’s alright, alright with me
Cause I want nothing more than to sit outside heaven’s door
And listen to you breathing
Its where I wanna be, yeah
Where I wanna be

I’ve loved Lifehouse for a very long time. They were the first concert I ever went to (Colbie Caillat, Lifehouse and the Goo Goo Dolls at Red Rocks. Beat that.) and then I saw them two more times that year. I’ve seen them four times total now and somehow I’ve forgotten about them until recently. I guess you could say I’ve been hooked on other artists and discovering new music but there is something wonderful about rediscovering old loves, and this song (and this band) is no exception. “Breathing” is one of the lesser known singles from Lifehouse’s first album, though I’m not sure why because it is amazing.

Maybe this song rocks because it simply speaks to where I’m at, but I still find God between the lyrics. I am finding my way back to sanity again, though I certainly have no idea what I’m going to do when I get there. Probably spin around and hopefully I will gracefully fall back into the arms of grace. After all, why would I want to leave the arms of grace in the first place?

And this is where I change the “you” to “You”…I am hanging on every word You say and even if You don’t want to speak tonight that’s alright. I just want to be here, outside Your door and listen to You breathe. That’s all I want. To be here. To rest here.

I’m trying to look past the shadows in my mind, past the doubt and the confusion and yet there seem to be so many voices, so many opinions, so much input from the outside world that I find myself lost in the chaos of it all. God, which voice is Yours? Yours is the one I want to rest in. Let me feel what it feels like to feel because I find myself going numb to it all, so please, break these calluses off of me yet again.

I don’t want a thing from You, nothing more than You’ve already given me anyway – which, by the way, is everything. I want Your peace. Oh, wait, You’ve already given me that. I want Your love. Oh, you’ve given me that too, unconditionally. Maybe God is tired of me waiting for the scraps to fall off of His table because He has invited me to the feast and my stubborn heart has yet to accept His invitation.

So tonight (and hopefully every night) I’ll be hanging on His every word, trying to find His voice among the crowd and just sitting outside His door, listening to Him breathe. That’s where I want to be.

What I’m Listening To:
“Breathing” by Lifehouse
“Trying” by Lifehouse
“Tailgate Blues” by Luke Bryan
“Simon” by Lifehouse

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