just don’t say it: end of Pregnancy. 10 comments


{Warning: this post is dripping with sarcasm and snark because I’m 38 weeks pregnant and that’s what you get. Don’t say you weren’t warned!}

just dont say it pregnancyI honestly want to believe that people mean well. I want to believe that people remember the age old adage of “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all”. I want to believe those things. But a word to the wise and not so wise alike? What follows are things that – somehow, someway to someone somewhere – people actually think are nice or acceptable things to say to a pregnant woman. However, (and other pregnant/Mamma ladies, feel free to chime in) they are not nice and unless you’d like us to sit on you, I’d avoid saying them. Like, ever.

You look so tired.

Thank you, Captain Obvious. When was the last time you tried sleeping with a bowling ball/watermelon up your shirt and on your bladder/bones that caused you to need to pee approximately 14.98734897 million times a night? You should try it, because it is basically the best night’s sleep I’ve ever gotten.

You look like you are ready to be done being pregnant.

Nope, just getting started. I’m going for elephant gestation time (22 months), so I’m not even halfway there! *scowl*

You are ready to pop!

I’m not a balloon and I don’t really appreciate the comparison. Explode [at you?], maybe, but that’s an entirely different notion 😉

Can I rub your Buddha-like belly?

I’m gonna just go with no on this one. And if you try without asking I will back away and/or slap your hand. (Or I may start rubbing your belly and asking your lunch how it is feeling in there today.) Its a reflex.

Wow! You look so pregnant in the ______{enter body part, i.e. face, butt, arms, etc. here}.

Really? So do you. The thing is that I *am* pregnant – whether one body part seems to show it more or not is besides the point. Putting on weight and having a body that changes to accommodate a growing baby isn’t the easiest or most glamorous thing ever, and pointing out to a pregnant woman that one part shows more than the other isn’t going to go over well. Ever.

{I’m also going to defer to Raquel’s comments here, because they are genius. And sarcastic. “Newsflash…I’m PREGNANT. Maybe you forgot, but when a woman is pregnant she grows an entire human being INSIDE her and so sometimes there’s this side effect that causes a woman to get…BIGGER. But thank you Captain Obvious for your comment. I’m actually glad you reminded me because despite the fact that I can no longer sleep on my back because my baby could crush my lungs, that none of my clothes fit me, and the fact that I can no longer put on my own shoes…I actually forgot how big I was! (Hopefully you noted my sarcasm!)”}

Wait, you’re pregnant?

In a joking way, when you know and are being Captain Obvious on purpose, this is fine. Said as an actual question when a woman is clearly pregnant and you are implying that you just thought she was fat/putting on weight is not okay.

How does your {private body part} feel?

If you are asking me this question, you better be my Mom, my doctor, my husband or my bestie. If not, don’t go there unless you’d like me ask you how yours feels. Just because I’m pregnant does not give you license to ask me about any and every part of my body. If you don’t see that body part naked (like, my shoulder, for instance) and/or you didn’t bring me into this world, don’t ask.

You look huge/your baby is huge!

*scowl* Don’t judge me and don’t judge my baby. Your only hope now is to run…because I probably can’t catch up with you. But I’d still advise running as fast as you can.

Actual Kind Words:

Despite the nonsense above, there are comments that never grow old and I wish more people would stick to rather than offering their unsolicited advice/comments/opinions:

You are glowing!
You are all bump/It doesn’t even look like you’ve put on weight!/From behind, I couldn’t even tell you are pregnant!
Here, let me open that door for you/pick up that thing you dropped on the floor that you can no longer see/anything helpful
You are beautiful!
You are going to be a great mother!
You look adorable, I love that top/dress/necklace/any article of clothing/accessory
Motherhood is the greatest adventure and it is all worth it

If you aren’t sure if it is a nice/acceptable thing to say or not, err on the side of caution and just don’t say it – or be ready for a crying pregnant woman/highly sarcastic comment in return/slap/etc. Consider yourselves warned!


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10 thoughts on “just don’t say it: end of Pregnancy.

  • JoAnna Wahlund

    Something else not to say: “Are you sure it isn’t twins??? You look just like my daughter did when she was pregnant with twins? Are you absolutely sure it isn’t twins? Maybe the doctor was wrong. I bet you’re having twins!!”

    Nope, just 39 weeks pregnant with what ended up being a 9lb baby, thankyouverymuch, and 4 ultrasounds confirmed that there was only one in there.

    • Amanda @ worthy of Agape

      Right?! There’s a parishioner where I work who asks me every. single. week. if I’m having twins. No, I’m not. I’m measuring exactly where I should be, thankyouverymuch! The twin comment and the “are you sure it isn’t a boy? I’m sure the doctors and the very clear ultrasound was wrong, you look like you are having a boy” comments irk me. I trust my doctors and I know what I’ve seen on the ultrasounds!

      People.

  • thedomesticbadass

    You go girl! The one I hated the most was “you must be so ready to be done with being pregnant!” I actually loved every minute of being pregnant, right up till the very end, when I was dancing around our bedroom to Christmas music 10 minutes before my water broke. I felt so blessed that “at my age” (another set of comments I loathed was anything to do with my age and choosing to have a child at this point in my life) I had such a smooth pregnancy and a perfectly healthy baby and I treasured every minute.
    You look so beautiful and you are gonna be such a great Mom! It’s truly the best thing I’ve ever done and although I’ve been more tired than ever these past 11 weeks, life couldn’t be any better for us.You’ll be so amazed at how your capacity for love just quadruple when you see your daughter for the first time ♡ So happy and excited for you!

    • Amanda @ worthy of Agape

      I haven’t hated being pregnant and even now I’m still okay being pregnant, I’m just so *very* over people’s comments/unsolicited opinions. If I could just be pregnant without everyone and their brother chiming in on how I look, I’d be *much* better off 🙂

      And now I think I’m going to have dance parties in our room at night to see if I can get labor started 😉

      I’m so happy for you, the pictures of your daughter are adorable!!

  • KristinFoss

    Blessed are they who are in the third trimester, for a baby in arms is coming!

    An intern at my old office told me that I looked sick one day. And on that particular day, I wasn’t wearing any makeup because I had terrible morning sickness during all 9 months of my pregnancy. I responded by saying, “Nope. Not sick. That’s JUST MY FACE!” Bless his heart.

    The good news is that the light is shining at the end of the tunnel! Praying for you & that sweet baby.

    • Amanda @ worthy of Agape

      Thank you 🙂 When people make rude comments (i.e. about how tired I look) I tend to respond with a slightly sarcastic “thanks” and just walk away, because that’s the nicest thing I can think to say sometimes!

      The light is definitely shining brighter at the end of the tunnel, thanks for the prayers 🙂

  • Ashley

    Hi! (First time commenter)
    I actually hate it when I’m pregnant and people tell me I don’t look pregnant from behind! Like am I supposed to have a baby bump on my back?!? I know it’s meant as a compliment about weight, but it really reflects, to me, the same inability to just marvel at our beautiful individuality as women. Besides, I’m growing a human and have very, very little control over what my body does.

    • Amanda @ worthy of Agape

      Hi! SO true about the control! I’m growing the baby, but she’s going to change my body in ways that I have absolutely no control over! I never really thought about the “pregnant from behind” comment like that before, but it makes sense! I *am* pregnant, and pregnant all over, thank you very much! 🙂

  • 9jaime

    Those comments drive me nuts, too! I always go to 41 or 42 weeks, so when the comments start about how I’ll never make it so far because I am so large it’s frustrating. I am petite but grow 9 1/2 lb babies. Nowhere to go but out! People mean well, I think, or they just think they are funny when they are kind of hurtful. I guarantee you are beautiful. It is absolutely amazing what a woman’s body goes through to have a baby!

    • Amanda @ worthy of Agape

      I do think that people generally mean well, or at the very least don’t understand how hurtful their comments can be, but they still hurt! I *so* want to respond with sarcasm and snark, but I also want to genuinely relay to people that these comments are not charitable in the least!