stages of this Pregnancy. 4 comments


Each pregnancy goes through three stages. In medical terms they are called first, second and third trimesters. Original, I know. But each individual pregnancy goes through many different stages. Some of them are funny, some of them are not so funny. As best I can remember, I’m writing out the stages of my pregnancy in more specific and less generic terms than trimesters (and the week they correspond to). Some are in the form of things as I experienced them, others take the form of things people have said to me. Enjoy – and I’d love to hear your experiences and funny stages in the comments!

The “since when do so many people think we lack self-control” stage (7 weeks – when we started announcing the pregnancy)

The “if you so much as mention abortion around me for any reason I will burst into a fit of tears, the likes of which you’ve never seen before” stage (9 weeks)

The “nothing fits right and I just want to wear pants like a normal person, but I can’t so I’m going to sob on the closet floor” stage (10 weeks)

The “I don’t know if it is pregnancy, this cold/sickness, my allergies or the elevation but I just can’t breathe right” stage (11 weeks) [It was all of them. I may never complain about being sick again so long as I’m not pregnant. Cold meds are the best thing since sliced bread.]

The “I get headaches and just want to take an Advil” stage (12 weeks)

The “I’m starting to show and random people keep rubbing me” stage (13 weeks)

The “are you sure you aren’t just eating a lot of donuts” stage (14 weeks)

The “not big enough for maternity clothes but too big for regular clothes (and repeat the week 10 cry fest on the closet floor)” stage (15 weeks)

The “how did I not realize that you were pregnant”/”now I really know you are pregnant because I was too scared to say anything before in case you were just putting on weight” stage (16 weeks)

The “wow, you are really popping out now” stage (17 weeks)

The “are you sure you’re not Buddha because I’m rubbing your belly like you are” stage (18 weeks)

The “maybe 12 hour work days are going to get too exhausting (but they aren’t too exhausting yet because I’m being stubborn)” stage (19 weeks)

The “OMG I CANNOT WAIT TO FIND OUT WHAT GENDER HUMAN IS FLOATING AROUND INSIDE OF ME AND EITHER WAY I’LL BE REDUCED TO A PUDDLE OF HORMONAL TEARS” stage (20 weeks)

The “totally being judged by people for finding out the gender of your unborn child when you should have just left it a surprise like hundreds of thousands of generations of women have done” stage (21 weeks)

The “I’d really like a nap even though I just woke up” stage (22 weeks)

The first of many “nesting/clean the nursery” stages (23 weeks)

The “my belly button just popped out and now people are trying to push it back in for me” stage (24 weeks) [This one coincided with Thanksgiving, so I felt like people were confusing me with their turkeys. For the record, I don’t like being confused with the animal in the average person’s oven – and, no, my ‘button’ won’t pop back in that easily, please stop trying.]

The “when are you going to start your maternity leave because you are clearly exhausted and probably should stop working” stage (25 weeks)

The “why can’t I roll over in bed like a normal person” stage (26 weeks)

The “help, help, I sat down in a couch that is like quicksand to a pregnant lady and I can’t get out” stage (27 weeks)

The “I really, really need to stop sitting on the floor because its hard to get up” stage (28 weeks)

The “it has apparently become okay to ask me if I’m having twins” stage (29 weeks)

The “I sit my dinner plate on my belly and eat, despite my daughter’s kicking and punching protests” stage (30 weeks)

The “yes, I do need help out of this chair/couch/car/lying down position/floor (clearly I didn’t pay attention to week 28) because it takes a gosh darn lot of effort to get up on my own” stage (31 weeks)

So here we are and I’m beginning to wonder if I’m waddling or just walking funnier. Or if I can still pass for walking normally. Its been an…interesting journey so far, but despite the struggles and the odd comments, with each passing week I only get more excited to meet our baby girl! Here’s to the next 8ish (that’s all that’s left?!) weeks/stages and whatever hilarity they may bring!


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