what marriage is teaching Me. {vol. 4} 1 comment


what marriage is teaching me link upI’m really growing to love this link up. In many ways, it is keeping me accountable to continue growing and learning in marriage. Not only is it keeping me accountable, the link-up gives me a way to document, write down and remember exactly what marriage is teaching me. I hope that those of you participating (anyone and everyone is welcome!) are finding the same!

By my nature, I tend to be someone to tease others a fair amount. Once I get to know a person, I get a feel for how much they like to be teased and how much they can handle. Of course, I’m never the perfect judge of this. My family picks on me and I pick on them – it is how I grew up. Sometimes I pick on them too much, other times they pick on me more than I’d like. The same is, of course, true of my relationship with Anthony, except that this teasing comes out more in public.

When it is just the two of us, I seem to tease him a lot less, but when other people are around, the jokes start flying, only sometimes he doesn’t find them funny…at all. Can I blame him? Of course not. Sometimes my teasing does go too far, but I don’t always realize it until the words are out of my mouth or I see his face and know that I’ve hurt him.

That’s what I’m learning lately: be careful with my teasing. I mean it in a loving way because I only pick on people I know and love, but sometimes it doesn’t come out in such a loving way. Either the people around us don’t realize that I’m just kidding or the person I’m picking on is hurt by my words. Like all the other lessons I’m learning from marriage, this isn’t just specific to my marriage. I’m learning to be more careful about who and how I tease. Just because I know a specific person and can pick on them doesn’t mean that (1) I should tease them or that (2) everyone else in the group understands my manner of teasing. In a sense, I’m re-learning the Golden Rule. I don’t always want to be picked on or I’m just not in the mood to handle much teasing (whether I’m pregnant or not!) and therefore I shouldn’t just assume that people, Anthony especially, wants to be picked on or teased. Speaking with love – even when I’m playfully, carefully teasing – is always the best route.

What are you learning? How is marriage teaching you to be holier? Share your thoughts and/or blog links in the comments!


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One thought on “what marriage is teaching Me. {vol. 4}

  • Andrea

    Part of his dislike of the public teasing is likely a response to being a man/husband. Men intensely dislike being put down in public, especially by their wives, even if it is meant to be just teasing and harmless. A husband loves to be adored and loved publicly by his wife, especially in front of other men. You should read, “For Women Only” (they also have a counterpart book for men). Men and women are sooooo crazy different. When my husband and I are reading these books side by side, we often talk about how amazingly different we are and how hard it is for each of us to imagine thinking like the other 🙂