the ‘sorry, not sorry’ Phenomenon.


Chances are that if you are on any one of the major social media sites, you’ll know what I’m talking about when I refer to the ‘sorry, not sorry’ or ‘#sorrynotsorry’ phenomenon. But just in case you aren’t familiar with the phrase, folks tend to post it when they feel like they should be sorry about posting so much, but they simply aren’t. More often than not I see it attached to photos of babies, engagement pictures, wedding pictures, baby announcements and the like. We attach this ‘sorry, not sorry’ phrase to some of life’s happiest moments, as though we should have to apologize that we are so happy. Where does this push to apologize for being happy come from?

There is something to be said for being happy and sharing that happiness with others. Harsh as it may sound, if you don’t want to see adorable baby pictures or engagement pictures or pre-wedding bliss, stop following those people on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook. I think at this point, most of my followers know that I’m engaged. The bulk of my Instagram pictures lately are related to engagement and our upcoming wedding. Every now and then I feel this pull to tag the pictures with #sorrynotsorry, but I fight the urge. Why? Because I’m not sorry and I’m not apologizing for not being sorry. So maybe, just maybe, can we stop apologizing for being happy and sharing that happiness – be it a cute newborn, a new house, or a stellar grade – and just be happy? 

Of course there is a difference between sharing happiness and flaunting happiness. If the only thing I ever blogged, tweeted or ‘grammed about was my engagement and wonderful Anthony is, you’d have every right to unfollow me. That is where I think the difference is – can you post about your happiness but share other things too? Or are you merely interested in shoving your happiness – that shiny new ring, the flowers your boyfriend bought you, etc. – in everyone else’s faces, come hell or high water? I believe that if you have the ability to share your posts but you can still sympathize and empathize with the rest of us, then share your happiness. The world needs more happy. But if your interest is only in blowing up people’s feeds with your bliss without connecting with other people, then perhaps the #sorrynotsorry hashtag is for you.

So before you post your ten zillionth status about your latest and greatest joy, ask yourself: Am I sharing this to share my joy or am I flaunting it? Am I posting to get it out of my system while failing to truly engage with others? If your intent is true and good, then for goodness sake, don’t apologize for being happy. God made us for joy and happiness, not sorrow and gloom. Trend or no trend, God doesn’t want you to apologize for sharing in His joy – He came so that His joy might be complete in us.

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