Hooray, another guest post for the “just don’t say it” series! Despite what Jen says, I’m open to just about anything for this series, so if you’ve got an idea or a post you want to write, let me know (comment or contact me)! Without further ado, the honest and insightful Jen of Jumping in Puddles is Fun…
Ok, listen. I know this isn’t something that Amanda usually has for this series, but let me tell you: people say some RIDICULOUS things to people who struggle with acne.
And anyone who has it… knows what I am talking about. Let me also be clear, I am not talking about the few breakouts that happen around your period or the random blemish in the middle of your forehead. The acne I struggle with, and am referring to here, is an every day battle. These blemishes are red and inflamed and hurt and just seem like they will never, ever go away. It could be on your face, neck, or back. You have tried everything under the sun (or Son??) and nothing seems to work.
I feel your pain. I struggle with feeling pretty. Or the worry that there is something wrong with me when at 28 I am still dealing with this. I get the looks. I hear the comments from really ignorant (and mostly well-intentioned) people.
You are not alone. It’s time we stood together! It’s time to make it known that acne might not go away after your teenage years! It SUCKS! But, it’s not the end of the world. We are beautiful. We are awesome. God created us just the way we are… pimply and all. He thinks we are the most beautiful women in the whole world. And that’s the most important thing.
With that being said, I now give you things that you shouldn’t EVER say/do to people who have acne (unless you are family or really close friends… maybe.):
- “Maybe you should see a dermatologist!” Ohhhhh…. obviously. Man! Why hadn’t I thought of that one? No, I am 28 and have never, ever seen one of those. I mean, COME ON! Please, people. It’s just rude. Plus, maybe that person doesn’t have insurance or money to see a dermo. They are expensive. Just don’t say anything!
- “You should try [insert cleanser, product, ointment, etc.]. It’s a miracle worker! I had bad acne, too, and now my face is amazing!” Oh… I should try that, huh??? How do you know I haven’t TRIED IT ALREADY???? Just because that works for you, doesn’t mean it worked or will work for me! We struggle with acne for various reasons (hormones, excess oil, mild allergy to foods, etc.) and therefore the treatments will vary. Please don’t suggest something to me unless you are close to me and know for a fact that I haven’t tried it. Mmmkay? Thanks.
- When explaining a new treatment method to someone and they say, “Oh, maybe I should try that for the two pimples on my chin!” Shut up. That’s what I want to say to you. What you are dealing with and what I am dealing are NOT the same. Plus, if at the time we are talking about it and my acne hasn’t improved, you saying something like that really comes across as mocking. And it’s rude.
- Um, LOOK at us! Listen, I know that our acne can be distracting… I get it. We know it. Some of us already struggle with confidence (or for people to take us seriously) and to hold conversations with people who don’t even look at us??? Yea, that will realllllly help with that there confidence. Thankyouverymuch. We are not deformed. We are not unclean. And you can’t catch it from us. So, show us a little decency and look at us.
- Please teach/remind the children in your life that they really shouldn’t make comments about the way people look. We don’t encourage kids to say things to people who are missing a limb, why would it be acceptable for them to say things about another person’s face?? It wouldn’t. I know that when kids are little they have no filter and are still learning social etiquette, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less. If the kids notice our face, then everyone else sure as heck does, too!
Well, there you have it. It’s just common sense, folks! Please, think before you speak. What you think is helpful can easily be taken as insensitive and rude. So, just do us all acne prone people a favor…don’t say anything at all!!
What have I missed?? What other things shouldn’t people say to us??
*not every single thing above happened to me… this is a compilation of a few people’s experiences!
Jen is a school nurse in southwest Florida, who blogs at Jumping in Puddles is Fun. Southwest Florida transplant. Catholic. School Nurse. Likes to eat. Blogs about… everything. Co-host of the Not Alone Series. Trying to follow God’s will. She is just jumping in the puddles of life and seeing where the ripples go!