not alone: the joy of Singlehood. 8 comments


not alone series

What to tackle next in the “Not Alone” series? Well, how about some joy? Morgan and Jen ask, what are your favorite things about being single? I suppose my list boils down to three things:

Finances.

Travel.

Spontaneity. 

Finances.

Let’s be honest, I’m a youth minister so I’m not exactly rolling in the dough. Being single means that I can live simply without having a family to provide for just yet. I’m free to go out and buy a new dress if I feel like without worrying about whether or not that means I’m stealing food out of my baby’s (or husband’s) mouth. Being single means that I’m the one managing my finances however I see fit (doesn’t that sound prideful? Eek.). I’m not saying that I’m some crazy spender (youth minister, remember?), but being single means that I don’t have to check my spending or saving with someone else. If I go over my budget for eating out, I’m the one that has to deal with it and figure out how to make due. It is hard to explain without sounding really prideful – my money, my way, mister! – but being single affords my bank account a little more freedom.

Travel.

not alone joy of singlehoodI love to travel. Seriously. I’ve yet to leave the country, but I’ve been to about 30 states and enjoy going anywhere and everywhere I can. Because my finances are a little freer, I’m able to save up and travel with less constraints. I don’t have a baby to tug along or a husband who needs me around to do things, I can simply hop in my car and take off for the weekend. I can go see cathedrals and try and see as many in the country as I can. I can take off for ten days and just go on vacation without worrying about leaving my kids in the care of my husband (not to say that I would necessarily worry about this if I were married, if I married the guy then I’d obviously be okay with leaving our children with him!).

Spontaneity.

This joy goes hand in hand with the first two reasons I enjoy being unwed. A lot of the time I can be a Type A personality and plan as though my life depended on it. Then other times I really enjoy cutting loose. If I’ve got a day off from work I can pack a lunch, hop in the car, and drive until I find a trail I feel like hiking. I don’t have to plan it out in advance, find a sitter for the kids, or make sure my husband knows exactly where I’ll be and when. I just get in the car and drive, and if I drive so far that I have to spend the night somewhere, I’m free to do that too. I’m also free to join a friend for a movie last minute or go camping just because we can.

Of course, all this isn’t to say that married people have no money, don’t travel, and can’t be spontaneous, and therefore live boring lives. I’ve got plenty of married friends who still travel (with kids, too!) and can be spontaneous, though in slightly different ways than I can as a single person. Perhaps some day all of this will change, but for the time being I’m learning to enjoy the life God is putting before me and appreciate the joys of singlehood!

What about you? What are/were your favorite things about being single?


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8 thoughts on “not alone: the joy of Singlehood.

  • Katie

    Thank you for this! I love this post because I have opened my eyes to the blessings of being single in the last 8 months. Some things I have discovered: I love deciding how I want to/need to spend my time. When a friend calls late at night because they need to talk, I can go over to their house (and sleep there, if need be!). I can devote extra time to work, and impress my boss/advisor without taking time away from someone else. I can choose to go to Mass at any time I want, and I can give myself alone time, or time to exercise, or time to serve others. If I want to, I can sleep with my legs and arms spread out and take up the whole bed. And when I cook, I don’t have to compromise — I can experiment!

    I have the desire in my heart to get married and raise a family — God willing, I will some day — but there are many blessings in the single life too!

  • Mandi @ Messy Wife, Blessed Life

    I don’t really miss being single, but there were definitely some “advantages” that I can see now that I’m married. The big one is money. Man, I wasted so much money on myself when I was single and now that I’m married and have a child, money is so, so tight. I miss the days when I could just pick up an extra pair of socks at the store without having to consider the budget (and then putting them back on the shelf, because they are NOT in the budget right now!)

    • Amanda @ worthy of Agape

      Even being unmarried I can see how much money I’ve spent needlessly the last few years. When I was working as a full time YM I wasn’t as careful with my money because I didn’t have to be. However, I’ve still learned a lot and do my best to save for the future!