I’ve realized lately that sometimes all I want to do is disappear and hide away. Not in a super depressing way, but I just want to get away. Actually, that’s exactly what I did for my birthday this year. I drove to a friend’s mountain cabin and stayed there by myself with my phone turned off for the day. It was glorious. Other times I just want to disappear. I think girls do this more often than guys, but considering I am not now, nor have I ever been a guy, I won’t comment on that.
Girls want to disappear, we want to hide from our problems and don’t always want to face them head on. I’m really, annoyingly good at this. When someone bothers me or makes me uncomfortable, I simply want to hide under a rock and not really talk to anyone in the hopes that the problem (like me) will disappear on its own. This is actually a horrible trait, unless…
…I disappear into the heart of Jesus. If I disappear and crawl under a rock and wait for the issue to pass then my habit of disappearing is no good. If, however, I disappear from the world only to be found in His arms, then my disappearing act can be a good thing. It is hidden in His arms, wrapped in His love that I find the strength to face my problems. It is gazing into His face, touching His wounds that I trust that He and I can conquer the issues before me. It is in receiving Him, in being consumed by Him that I am filled with peace and no longer feel the need to hide away.
We all do it. We all want to hide away from the storm when the water rises. When the sun doesn’t shine we want to hide away, we want to find some peace somewhere so we retreat, we disappear. But, are we disappearing into our own thoughts, only to get lost in our fears? Or are we losing ourselves in His unending love? The trick when we do hide away is to disappear from others so that we can more fully appear to Him who desires to appear to and fill us.
Remember that when Jesus died the curtain that separated the Holy of Holies from the rest of the sanctuary in the Temple was torn, not only so that we would have direct access to Him, but so that He could have direct access to us. Hide away in Him, disappear in His love, but remember that the veil has been torn so that we who have disappeared in His arms can reappear and bring His love out into the world.
What I’m Listening To:
“What Do I Know of Holy” by Addison Road
“Restless” by Audrey Assad
“Restless” by Switchfoot
“Hide Away” by Ben Rector