what it has Become.


I’ve said it before and God knows I’ll probably say it again, but this blog is my confessional.  I come here, I sit at a computer and write out my thoughts, my prayers and then, like a truly crazy person, I post them for you all (or y’all, if you prefer) to read.  When I started this blog nearly a year and a half ago I needed something to give me purpose.  And let me tell you that this blog has.  It has been a calling, a beautiful and wonderful ministry and I’m blessed, humbled and grateful that God has called me here for this purpose.  But if I’m being honest, I’ve lost sight of that purpose lately.

There have been a number of things going on in my heart lately with regards to the blog.  When I made my big announcement last month I was blown away by the support (and I still am).  Since then I’ve become inordinately obsessed with the blog, how many hits it gets per day, whether or not it is growing, etc.  I’m thinking of the blog constantly, what to write about, upcoming posts, series, and ideas about how to grow it.  I check the hits more times a day than I would ever care to admit.  It has become unhealthy to say the least, and it is never what I wanted the blog to be about.  I trust that God is using my words (really, His words) to speak to whomever He needs to, whether that’s 10 people a day or 200.  I read an article recently about how to get your projects to go viral.  The author talked about projects that she launched that literally had millions of hits within a few days.  Naturally, I started comparing myself, this blog and the book to her success.  It was then that it really hit me: this is not about me, it is about Him.  It always has been and always should be.  The second it becomes about me and the hits and my need to grow the blog is the second that I need to stop writing and reconnect with Him.

Last week I announced that “let love In” will be the last song in the “Rock or Knock” series I’ve been featuring on Wednesdays.  In the last few weeks I’ve been inspired to write a lot of blog posts in advance, though I wasn’t sure why.  Now I am.  I’ll be taking a few weeks away from writing/obsessively checking stats so that I can really enter into prayer about where He is leading this blog.  Matthew West sings a song called “The Moment of Truth” in which he talks about going back to the moment of truth, when you first said I do, when your child was first born, when you first talked to Jesus and remembering those moments.  I, in the next few weeks, hope to go back to those moments of truth, when I first started blogging, when I’ve written blogs that were so deeply from my heart that I knew beyond the shadow of doubt that He was calling me to them.  I’m going back to the moment of truth so that this blog can return to what it should always be: Christ-centered.  So, the blogs will keep appearing (Mondays as usual and Fridays about the book) but I won’t be logging in.  If you like the blogs, share them, post about them, tweet about them, tell your friends.  This blog, and God willing, someday the book, could not be what it is and has become if not for your support and encouragement.  If you don’t like the blog(s), then don’t share them, tweet them, or talk about them.  Or send me some suggestions about what you might like to see here.  I’m open to just about anything.  Pray for me and know that I will be praying for you.

Saints Peter and Paul, pray for us.

What I’m Listening To:
“The Moment of Truth” by Matthew West
“Lift Me Up” by The Afters
“Come Over” by Kenny Chesney
“Jesus Messiah” by Chris Tomlin

Leave a Reply