the journey of my Heart. 5 comments


Can you believe it?!  It is FINALLY time for the big announcement that I’ve been tweeting and dropping hints about for what seems like forever!  So, naturally, now that we have arrived I’m going to stall some more.  Isn’t that just like me?  😉

Let me start by saying thank you to my lovely and wonderful readers.  Blogging over the course of the last year and a half-ish has been such a beautiful journey and I’m abundantly blessed to be sharing it with you.  Your support has been amazingly uplifting and wonderfully humbling.  I feel an odd cyber connection with each of you each time I log in and write another blog and I am praying for you always.  None of this giant announcement would have been possible if it weren’t for your support (and, of course, God!).  I’m blessed beyond words.

For some time now girls and women’s ministry has been on my heart.  In some way that is why I started this blog, to write about my own struggles as a woman and to reach out to women who find themselves struggling as well.  Some would say this blog has been and is a roadmap to my heart and others say it is my confessional, my release.  I believe it has been (and will continue to be) a stepping stone.  At the end of the year last year I found myself writing a series of blogs about how the lost get found and how lost my heart was/is as a woman.  I wrote about the struggles I was facing and what I felt God was calling me to despite those struggles.  It was through those blogs that God truly began to set my heart on fire for the hearts of His daughters.  By diving into my own heart, and finding Him there, my eyes were opened to the universal struggles of women.  So I blogged.  But it wasn’t enough.

One of my very best friends encouraged me to pursue a dream I’ve had for a while but never really told anyone about.  Thanks be to God that she knew my heart better than she gave herself credit for.  She helped me with some research and helped fan the flame that God had already ignited into my heart.  So I set to work.

I narrowed down my focus, I opened my heart to God and prayed A LOT about this project and what He was asking me to do.  I spent hours upon hours in my room, at my desk, in libraries, online researching and working, reading and learning and journeying deeper into my own heart and therefore into His heart.  The journey was and is painful, beautiful, treacherous and magnificent.  It has been a journey I needed to go on not only for my own heart, but I believe for the hearts of His daughters.

After months of journeying to places I never thought I’d go or return to within my own heart and His, I finished what I call “phase one” of this journey.  On June 5th I completed the first draft of my first book!  Every single word of it has been a labor of love, a journey of the heart and most importantly, a prayer.  Believe me when I say that I have literally poured my blood, sweat and tears into this book.

Some random stats on the first draft because it is mind-blowing even to me…
73,213 = # of words.
219 = approximate number of pages in book form (avg. word count/page is 350)
2 = average number of days to write one chapter
14 = average number of pages per chapter
16 = number of chapters
3 = number of sections

As I’ve been reading and editing the first draft I realize how little of it I actually wrote.  God wrote nearly all of it.  Sure, you will see bits of my story in there, comedic quips from yours truly, as well as my heart (no different, though perhaps more open than you read here), but you will see His too, that I can promise you.  There are chapters that were easy to write and flowed out in a matter of hours.  There are chapters that were dark and depressing to write.  There are chapters that upon writing them God called me back to places in my past so that He could heal me through writing this book.  There is one chapter in particular that is painfully honest and ridiculously raw and I wrote it despite the fact that events that week were among the most trying in my life thus far.  That chapter is probably the one I am most proud of…and the one that, even though I gave Him crap for it, God showed me the most through.

So what is this book about?  The title says it all (and the title shouldn’t surprise anyone):

Worthy

The book is about our struggle as women (I can’t and won’t claim to speak for men) to be found worthy.  The first section is all about the lies that Satan sells us on and how he weasels his way into our hearts.  The second section is simply called “The Triumph of Love” and is about two main characters: Mary and Jesus.  This section is about how their love triumphs over the lies of Satan.  The third section is about the challenge to live our lives differently in light of the truth that we have already been found worthy by the God of the Universe.

What now?

This book has to get published.  I say that because God has shown me in recent weeks what a hunger there is for a book just like this one and it has begun to feel like I’ve got some giant answer to the secret of life and I’m keeping it to myself.  I don’t like feeling selfish.  However, it is a long process to get a book published.  I have a few publishers in mind but the phase I’m at right now is where I need help.  I’m still looking for a few more people to read the book (malesandfemales!) and give me feedback/suggestions/endorsements.  Please let me know if this is something you would be interested in, the sooner the better!

So…every Friday from now until I get a proposal put together I will be blogging a quote from the book and/or an update on my prgress to get you all excited!  Stay tuned, keep praying, keep spreading the word and never forget that you are Worthy!

oh…and p.s. I made this announcement on the feast of Sts. Peter and Paul for a reason!  St. Paul’s words are a HUGE influence in this book!  Saints Peter and Paul, pray for us!

What I’m Listening To:
“Dreams” by Kenny Chesney
“Run To You (I Need You)” by Kari Jobe
“What Are You Waiting For?” by Natalie Grant
“Take Me In” by Kutless


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