Deny it all you want, women want to be fought for. I’m not saying that we want to be fought for in the sense of starting an entire war over us (I’m looking at you, Helen of Troy), but we want to be fought for, we want to be defended. We want the men in our lives – whether they be friends, brothers, fathers, boyfriends, fiances, or husbands – to stand up for us.
There are people who may call me (or women who think like me or agree with me) weak. Let me be heard: there is nothing weak about a man standing up for women. I’m reminded of a song that I love by Billy Dean and in it he says,
I know you can make it in this world on your own
But I wanna take care of you
The woman within may think that it’s wrong
But I wanna take care of you
I’ll show you the love of a man that knows how
To hold you without holding you down
It’s not a sign of weakness to let me be strong
I wanna take care of you
It isn’t a sign of weakness, it allows men to be men and women to be women. Plus, isn’t there something incredibly attractive about a man that stands up for women? Think of the characters you love in movies: Mr. Darcy, Aragorn (I’m coming up short of good examples at the moment, but you catch my drift), the ones who fight for love, who fight for the women in their lives and who strive to do right by them. Those are the men that my heart cheers for, the ones I dream about. The others fall to the wayside.
Yesterday I was reading some posts back and forth on my friend’s facebook page in a debate about contraception, pregnancy and abortion. Needless to say, this debate got pretty heated, but as I read on I found myself literally fist pumping and rooting for one guy (a.k.a. MAN) in the conversation:
Matthew: I have a box of condoms by my bed and several more in my bag, and the young woman I’m currently sleeping with has been on the pill for years. She has alarms set to take her pill daily on the off-chance that she might forget it, and she checks the pack to make sure every night before going to sleep. On the very slim chance that she might get pregnant under these circumstances she might very well choose to terminate the pregnancy, but it would be her decision completely, because she has every right to have control over the fate of her body.
I wouldn’t have sex with a woman who met the criteria you offered [a woman who wasn’t on the pill and no condoms could be found anywhere]. We’d probably engage in oral or manual stimulation in that case.
Mark: To be honest I’m very sad in the amount of hate you allow yourself to allow in your life, seeing as every post you made was made with some form of insult. I can respect your right to choose differently than me regarding your lifestyle choices, but I cannot respect the manner in which you treat others, in particular, women. I would be quite bothered if I were your significant other and you referred to me as only “the woman I’m currently sleeping with” as if that was all I meant to you. I would also not be okay with the fact that I would be exposed to significant health risks in addition to that. You are supposed to protect the women in your life. They are beauties for which we fight for.
(Yes, the names have been changed.) Isn’t it obvious which person you are rooting for in this conversation? This all goes back to my post precious Little – would you rather be revered and honored or a commodity to be used and consumed? Would you rather have a man fight for you, defend your honor and uphold your dignity or announce to the world that you are sleeping together and he loves the fact that he can have his way with you and not ever really worry about knocking you up?
What’s my point here? Men, real men, fight and defend women and our dignity. Plain and simple. Boys, jerks (and that’s the nicest thing I’ll call them) don’t. Say what you want about contraception and its correlations/connections to abortion – that’s not the debate here. The challenge is to rise above the little issue and realize what is at the heart of this matter: women. Women: don’t be afraid to challenge men to stand up for you, and don’t be afraid to walk away when they don’t. Men: stand up for us. Defend us. Why? Because as a woman I would choose Mark in a heartbeat over Matthew, no thought required. Mark defends, Matthew doesn’t. Jesus defends, sin gets defensive. I’d rather be on the winning team, wouldn’t you?