Break-up excuse: I’m not really ready for…commitment.
Why it sucks in human relationships: Let’s face it, commitment may as well be a four-letter word in many relationships. I’m going to go ahead and blog on this assumption: this line comes out after an undetermined period of dating, whether or not that’s exclusive. It doesn’t came after the first or second date, but after at least a month of dating. Therefore, this excuse sucks because there has been some premise, some idea that these dates were actually going “somewhere”, i.e. an actual exclusive dating relationship, engagement, marriage, you decide. We get our hearts sucked in and start falling for this person only to be seemingly blind-sided by their lack of readiness for commitment. Or, even more devastatingly, this wretched line comes after months and months of exclusive dating, leading one to believe that commitment actually is a possibility, when apparently it was never even part of the long-run deal. I’ve also heard this excuse translates to “I’m not ready to commit because I want to get more from you, or from other people before I commit. Feel free to wait around and pine for me until I’m ready to commit to you…which may, in fact, never happen.”
Why it sucks when using it with God: I can almost hear God laughing at the mere thought of this excuse being used on Him. I don’t really think of God as a mean, vindictive bully in the playground, but somehow I can just hear Him laughing at this excuse. We aren’t ready for commitment? HELLO! He sent His ONLY Son to die for us, to literally lay down His life for us and we aren’t ready to commit ourselves to Him? Goodness gracious, what more are we looking for from God? It sucks because, on some level, we aren’t ready to commit because we think we could get more out of God if we hold out just a little longer. Besides, what gives us the audacity to ask more from God than He has already given us?
Why this excuse doesn’t work on God: See above. I can hear Him laughing. It doesn’t work on Him because He has already committed to us. I once heard Mark Hall (of Casting Crowns) give his testimony and how he realized that God doesn’t need us. Ouch? Just wait. God doesn’t need us, but He wants us. I’d rather be wanted than needed – need can so easily turn into use, which, as Blessed Pope John Paul II once said, is the opposite of love. God wants us to commit to Him and like I’ve said all along through out this series, God will keep waiting for us – He’s got eternity, remember?
How to move on: Pray. Take a moment, a second even, to ask God to show you how much He loves you. When (yes, when, not if) you become overwhelmed by His love for you, commit to Him. It doesn’t have to be at some showy altar call or some epic facebook status about how much you love God, do it in your heart. Jesus tells us, in the Gospel according to Matthew, “But when you pray, go to your inner room, close the door, and pray to your Father in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will repay you” (6:6). Let your commitment to Him be in your heart, deep in your heart. Then, live from the depths of your heart and allow His love to radiate through you.
“Dear Jesus, Help me to spread Your fragrance everywhere I go. Flood my soul with Your spirit and life. Penetrate and possess my whole being so utterly, that my life may only be a radiance of Yours. Shine through me, and be so in me that every soul I come in contact with my feel Your presence in my soul. Let them look up and see no longer me, but only You, my Jesus. Stay with me and then I shall being to shine as You shine, so to shine as a light to all” -Cardinal Newman…adapted by Blessed Mother Teresa