I always want to give a preface to the excuse of the week but since I explain things so much in the bulk of the blog, I don’t really know that I need a preface. Now…moving on from my random ramblings to the excuse of the week:
Break up excuse: I’m just not ready for a (serious) relationship yet.
Why it sucks in human relationships: Because chances are that your heart is already falling and invested in the relationship by time the other person figures out they aren’t ready. I’ve never heard of this reason being used and someone not getting hurt…the affairs of the heart are a tricky thing and all too often its too late by time someone figures this out, hearts are bound to be bruised if not broken completely. It also sucks because it leaves that “dot dot dot”, the unfinished break-up. The “yet” implies that someday (and who ever the broken-up-with is hopes that it is someday soon) that person will be ready for a relationship. The “yet” says I’m just not there today, but please sit around and daydream about me coming back for you on a white horse. Go ahead, wait for the day I wake up and realize that I do want a serious relationship and that I want it with you. …and so the broken-up-with is left with half of a break-up because there is still that lingering hope of that person coming back around when they are ready to settle down.
Why is sucks when using it with God: Because He is ready. He has been waiting for eternity (and, by a love that I can’t even begin to fathom, He will wait for eternity) for us to be ready. He, after all, created us and longs to be in relationship with us, in a serious, eternal, life-changing relationship with us. All that He asks of us is to open our hearts completely to Him. As scary as that notion may be, it really is what He longs for, so when we tell Him that we aren’t ready just yet it is about as laughable as Saint Augustine’s prayer, “Lord, make me chaste…just not yet.” If not now, then when? It is a half-hearted prayer that boils down to this, “Lord, I love You and want to live for You…eventually. But I’m not done disappointing myself, my family and perhaps even You yet. So…thanks for the future grace, I’m just not ready for Your love yet.”
Why this excuse doesn’t work on God: Because He will keep waiting. He, unlike us humans, has the patient ability to wait in love for our hearts to turn towards Him…no matter how long it takes. He truly is like the father in the story of the Prodigal Son, He is always looking and waiting for us to come home to Him.
How to move on: Life is short. You may think that life is long or that you’ve got time or that someday you’ll be ready to hand your life over to God. That may all even be true…but why not start now? [This serious relationship with God is VERY different in this sense from a serious romantic relationship…it is my belief that one MUST come before the other, and I’ll bet you can figure out which one needs to come first, and why.] Why not start living a life after the heart of God? No one said it would be easy, but He does tell us that it will be worth it. You’ve fallen short lately? Today? You’ve failed? Are you disappointed in yourself? Want to keep sinning and falling so you want to hold off on the “God” thing for the time being? Stop making excuses. Do you want to know the truth? Even after you commit to a serious relationship with God you are going to be disappointed in yourself, you are going to fall short, you are going to keep sinning. Would you rather do that on your own or with a loving God there to pick you and up and dry your tears? I’ve tried both ways and let me tell you that living life, even in my own short comings, is far better with God there. He picks me up, wraps His loving arms around me and dries my tears. He holds me and tells me that He loves me no matter where I’ve been or what I’ve done. What are you waiting for? More disappointment, more pain, more sin and debauchery? My bet is that deep down you are waiting for love, so you want to hold out on God until you find that love…but you keep trying in vain. God is love. Stop waiting, open the eyes of your heart to see what has been available to you since the beginning of time: unending, unconditional, unfathomable love from the God who created you.
Lord, help us to not hold out on you. Maybe we don’t think we are ready or worthy of a relationship with You just yet…whisper into the depths of our hearts that we are. We are made for You, we long for You, grant us the grace to seek Your love above all else that this world tries to offer us. AMEN.