Alright ladies, its our turn. Men need to be men, but women need to be women. I saw a shirt a while back that a guy was wearing and all it said was, “MAN UP.” That’s right, be a man (my previous blog about who men should seek to be). So what? Woman up. Be a woman.
The amazing Archbishop Fulton Sheen once said, “To a great extent the level of any civilization is the level of its womanhood. When a man loves a woman, he has to become worthy of her. The higher her virtue, the more her character, the more devoted she is to truth, justice, goodness, the more a man has to aspire to be worthy of her. The history of civilization could actually be written in terms of the level of its women.”
How true that statement really is. All too often I hear my lady friends (and myself) bemoaning the state of men today, how they aren’t what they could be, how they don’t pursue us, how they don’t honor and respect us. At some point, however, we need to look inside ourselves and see where the real issue is. Are we challenging men to be men, to be worthy of us? Or, are we lowering our standards (consciously or unconciously) and thereby lowering the quality of men?
We wonder why men aren’t being men, but are we looking within ourselves? I can’t tell you how many times a day women lower their standards and therefore its no wonder that guys act the way they do! We (and I say we because I know that I’m not perfect, try as I might!) don’t hold ourselves to glory, to true beauty. We sell ourselves short. We think we aren’t beautiful enough, so we plaster on the make up. Do you know what that says to a guy? It says, I don’t think I’m that beautiful and I can be insecure about my looks…and the rest becomes history. Instead, how about we trust that the Lord made us exactly the way He wanted us to be and we are truly beautiful in His eyes. Song of Songs says, “You are beautiful in every way, my friend, there is no flaw in you!” (4:7). Be a woman, be beautiful.
How else do we sell ourselves short? We wear clothes that leave little, if anything, to mystery. I sound like a broken record saying this, but it is a broken record because it is true! When we, as ladies, wear clothes that isn’t modest we are telling guys that we don’t value ourselves enough to cover up, to be mysterious. I’m not saying you have to wear a habit everyday, but leave some mystery about you; its like reading a good book, they’ll want to keep reading!
We throw oursleves at guys. God knows I’ve been guilty of this, and oh how embarrassing it can be to look back and see that, and to look around and see it in women. Hit up your local bar and I can just about guarantee that you’ll see what I’m talking about. We have a drink or two (or maybe some of us don’t even need liquid courage to do this) and we start flirting with some cute guy. But its not just playful flirting because anyone and their brother can tell how desperate we are. We flirt and we bat our pretty little mascara-covered eye-lashes, we laugh at all his silly (and often inappropriate) jokes. We become easy. We are, in essence, telling the guy that we don’t have the self-respect to be pursued, so we’ll just take on the role of the guy and throw ourselves at you. We aren’t at peace in ourselves, so we throw ourselves at guys. We are telling them that they not only don’t have to pursue us, but that we, in our desperate, often alcohol-induced state aren’t seeking much more than attention, than instant gratification. Furthermore, by communicating this to guys we are, in turn, giving them permission to treat us the same way, to use us for instant gratification. Its kind of like teaching a man to fish and then telling him not to fish; monkey see, monkey do.
So what’s my point in all this ranting? As easy at it can be to blame guys for failing to be men, we too have blame in this game. Until we, as women of God, as women seeking to be loved by a MAN stand up, respect ourselves, cover ourselves up and stop throwing ourselves at guys we have no right to hope that men will exist. Its a two-way street, folks. Are you walking it, or do you think you’re on a one-way street? Love yourself enough to make a man want to become worthy of you, worthy of your time, of your love and affection, of your life. Stop selling yourself short of the glory and wonder that you are, that you were created to be.
I feel like I need a disclaimer: just because you “woman up” doesn’t necessarily mean that men will start walking into your life, but it will make it easier to walk away from boys. This is a process, it takes time to “woman up”, to really respect yourself, and likewise it takes time for guys to man up, but we have to start somewhere.
Imitate Mary, our mother, the mother of Jesus. Love yourself. Woman up.