I love him. I may not even know who he is, but I love him.
Maybe that sounds silly, but who ever it is that God has chosen for me…he’s out there. How could I possibly love him if I don’t even know that I know him? I may not be able to put a face to him just yet, but I pray for him. Its the best possible gift you can give your future spouse: pray for them now. I would love to have my husband on our wedding night tell me that he’s been praying for me and waiting to finally be married to me for forever – its not cheesy, its romantic, its beautiful, its meaningful, and its rooted in Love itself.
The trick, however, isn’t to pray for him to come into your life or to whisk you away on his white horse. Nope, I’ll let God write that love story. The trick is to pray for him, for his heart, for his purity, for his health, for the love he’ll one day have for you.
If you’re anything like me (and heaven help you if you are) then you probably day dream about your future spouse from time to time, especially when praying about them. In my mind, I don’t like to see a blank face, I want to see a face when I dream of walking down the aisle one day. Put Jesus’ face there. Imagine walking towards Jesus, giving yourself to Him in this awesome Sacrament (this works better for girls, but guys you get my drift). I’ve found this visualization to be extraordinarily awesome for a few reasons:
1. I’m walking towards Jesus. What could be better? I’m giving myself over to Him, and I’m giving my heart to Him as I wait for the man He has chosen for me to marry.
2. It sets the standards high. If I am constantly visualizing myself walking down the aisle with Jesus, being married to Jesus, then when some guy comes along who doesn’t treat me as well as He does, then it gets a lot easier to kick him to the curb. I’d rather spend the rest of my days dreaming about Jesus than spend one more second with a guy who thinks I’m not worth much more than x, y or z.
3. I’m seeing Jesus. I want a man who is going to be a spiritual leader in our relationship, who can lead me (and hopefully someday our children) to the foot of the cross. If I’m imagining Jesus, then when I meet someone its that much easier to ask myself if he is worthy of leading me and someday of leading children to Jesus.
You may not know who God has chosen for you, but pray for them anyway. Now, a few thoughts from a few songs that always get me through my rougher times:
“Pray” by Dierks Bentley
This one is about praying for past loves, which is, I think, just as important as praying for your future love. “I’ll pray that love will bless and find you, pray for joy and happiness, pray for two strong arms to hold you…pray.” Praying such a prayer keeps bitterness from old relationships from taking over your heart. I want to love them enough, even after the relationship has ended, to pray for their happiness. I think that it is only by loving our past, or at least being at peace with it, that we can love in the future.
“Wait For Me” by Rebecca St. James
Such a cute song, and totally true for most girls I know. Rebecca talks about dreaming about her future spouse and about praying for him. She prays that he will keep her loving eyes only for her. “I am waiting for you darling, wait for me as I wait for you”, you may not know your spouse yet, but wait in hope, wait for them in the hope that they are waiting for you too.
“Not Myself” by John Mayer
One of my favorite songs, quite possibly ever. John asks “would you want me when I’m not myself?” God knows what time we are to meet and fall in love with our future spouse. Rushing that could only bring disaster and heartache. I want my husband whenever God is ready for me to meet him, and not a moment sooner. I’ll love my husband and all of his faults (and if he’s anything like me, he’ll have a few) and once we’re married (and even before then, I’m sure) I’ll love him even when he’s not being himself. But until that time comes along, I don’t want to rush the slow work of God. And then John sings those words that always make me smile (and truly speak to the loving ways of God), “And I, in time, will come around…I always do, for you.”
Pray. God is working, trust in His plan and when you find yourself doubting it, just imagine yourself walking towards your future spouse and say a little prayer for them, where ever they might be.